The Trip Home Outtakes
by mskathy
Summary: Various outtakes and sideshots from The Trip Home. AU-H, lemons
1. Pythagorean Theorum

**A/N: How lucky am I, and in turn, are you, that algonquinrt agreed to write this? I am so fucking flattered that she took time out of her busy schedule to do this for me. I think she was mostly kidding when she suggested it and then I practically begged, because Carlisle and Esme don't get nearly enough time, and I happen to think that algie has a perfect grip on them. She captured Carlisle so well here that I cried – twice – while reading it.**

_I was certain she heard me open the door and move into the steam shower behind her, but Esme made no move to acknowledge my presence. I reached around her to grab the shower puffy and squirted some gel onto it, rubbing circles on her back._

"_I'm sorry," I said softly. I wasn't even sure she heard me until she responded._

"_I know you are, but I'm not the one you need to apologize to."_

"_I know." I let out a sigh and finished her back, bending at the knees to soap up her lower half. Once I was standing again, I leaned into her. "Turn around so I can finish, please."_

I felt her hesitation, not sure whether to forgive me or not. As she turned slowly to face me, I realized that neither of us could turn our back on the other. I couldn't remember a time when we'd gone to bed angry, so unwilling were we to deny our love for even the hours we were asleep. When my hands began to caress her, following the trail of bubbles left behind by her shower gel, I tried to imagine being in Edward's situation. What if loved another person as much as I love Esme? Could I turn my back on either of them?

I lost my train of thought as I dropped the shower puffy, a trapping of femininity I would never understand. Any further washing was going to be accomplished with nothing more than my hands, and as I traced my fingers over her full breasts, I was reminded of our shared past. My thumbs grazed over her nipples as I remembered high, pert breasts when we were dating. Full, burgeoning breasts in pregnancy, when their sensitivity was sometimes enough to bring her to the edge of orgasm without touching her anywhere else. The unfathomable eroticism of watching her nursing our son, her caramel waves falling over her shoulder as she gazed at him with adoration, then up at me with the deep, abiding love that has sustained us all these years. Her breasts were a reminder of all we had done, and shared, and she tipped her head back into the spray as I took one in my mouth, relishing that I could still cause that throaty moan.

While my mouth was at work on her breasts, my hands slid to her hips, fuller now than they'd been in our youth, before childbearing and life had their way with her body. I cherished their soft curves, allowing my hand to trace back and forth between them, crossing the faint silver lines that reminded me of the days when her belly was full with our child. Dipping lower, my fingers found her soft curls, and a small smile crossed my lips at the reminder that we were no longer as young as we once were; sprinkles of silver weren't hidden as easily here. I shifted my mouth's attention to hers as my fingers took advantage of the water, sufficient for stroking her. Her tongue met mine tentatively, reminding me that she was still hesitant about allowing me out of the dog house. We needed this, though, this reconnection with our bodies. _I_ needed this.

The days of shower sex were long gone for us, so I reached behind her to shut off the spray, opening the glass door to grab one of the towels she'd set out on the warmer. I dried her gently, missing the days when that shower for us would have ended in a steamy interlude against the tiles, my hand over her mouth, and mine buried against her shoulder to keep Edward from hearing us. Instead, I toweled us both dry, taking her hand and leading her to the bed to continue where we'd left off.

She sat on the edge of the bed, pulling me to her, her cheek resting on my stomach as my fingers tangled in her damp hair. With a finger under her chin, I tilted her face to search her eyes, finding my own need reflected there. In a move born of years' experience, Esme slid back on the bed as I moved over her, settling between her thighs as our mouths met. I smiled as my teasing nips trailed to her jaw and then her neck, remembering that, at Edward's age, I assumed my parents had transitioned to a platonic relationship. At this age, I'd expected to be sitting on a porch rocker rather than licking every inch of my wife. Here we were, nearly 30 years married, and I still felt like I was discovering her body anew every time.

As my fingers followed open-mouthed kisses along her collarbone, then her breasts, then her ribs, I reached to her bedside table for the pretty pink and white bottle she chose after careful research and then a final decision based on aesthetics. I coated my fingers before sliding them between her legs, grateful for her research, yet nostalgic for our youth, when a few heated kisses were all the foreplay we needed. The slickness reminded me of those heady days, and as I stroked her before sliding two fingers inside her. She began to whimper; her moans and sighs the same from the woman as they'd been from the girl.

Lovemaking with Esme was like a Broadway dance routine with an established cast: so familiar, we could do it asleep or with eyes closed, yet in that familiarity was the ability to focus on the tiniest changes and movements. Lost in her sounds and the sinuous flow of her body under mine, small things seemed huge: her nails on my back... the warmth of her mouth against mine... the feel of the skin of her thigh as I ground against her.

I rolled us so that she was over me, letting her take control as she positioned me at her entrance, reveling in the beauty of watching her move over me. She took me into her, and I watched her, amazed at her dazzling brilliance as she increased the speed of her movements, as she got closer to her release, tilting her head back and letting her damp hair cascade down her back. Even in the unbearable heat of seeking my own release, I could see the singularity, the magnificence of this moment of pleasure that required its own additional work to achieve.

As Esme gasped above me before crying out my name over and over again, I rolled us over again, watching her face as she floated back down, her eyelids heavy, her lips swollen from our kisses, her breasts heaving as she caught her breath. I followed her into my own climax, my face buried in her neck while I chanted over and over again that I loved her. I slipped out of her, kissing her softly before reaching for a towel from the floor to help her clean up. She was drifting off to sleep before I could even thank her, and I sighed as I realized sleep would not come quickly for me. My mind was too busy; our lovemaking had created more questions.

My entire frame of reference for judging Edward, Jasper, and Bella was based on my own experiences. My parents had been shocked and disgusted by the sexual revolution of the 1960s. I had friends and acquaintances who are homosexual, but I'd also seen first-hand the lack of acceptance for those same friends. I watched the ostracism of gay patients during the worse of the HIV crisis, saw medical personnel who would refuse to go into a room if a patient even appeared to be gay, even with no evidence at all of HIV infection. It was difficult enough to come to terms with how much adversity my sons would still face being gay; adding in a third party and building a future on that was even less understood and accepted by society. A parent wants to protect his children.

My thoughts turned to Esme and her calm acceptance. In her role as nurturer, anything that makes her children happy makes her happy. Yet if I was honest, I could admit that our marriage had not been without its own trials; the crazy hours of residency and overzealous nurses can wreak havoc on a marriage that had no trust. There had been times when jealousy has reared its ugly head. Times when gossip and innuendoes weaseled their way into others' perception of our marriage. Was it really any different than what Edward, Jasper, and Bella would face? What was I more worried about? The adversity that they would face, or the possibility that some of that adversity might creep my way if tongues began to wag?

I made my way downstairs for a book when I heard Jasper and Bella on the couch talking. I stayed hidden in the dark, too tempted to avoid eavesdropping. They spoke of their future, of how they would spend the summer. Of what they would do when Edward's Match was made. Of how the rest of this trip would go. Of how to deal with my resistance. Listening to Bella and Jasper talking made everything shift inside me. This wasn't about three young people indulging a kink; this was my Edward, and Jasper, my second son, finding a soul they wanted to build a family with. It certainly wasn't conventional, but my eavesdropping gave me a new perspective: that of three adults looking at all the factors, big and small. Above all, Jasper and Bella seemed willing to pull up stakes to follow Edward, and Edward wanted to come home. This was home. He wanted to move his new family to be near his first family. Could I really be the one flaw in that plan?

When they finally moved upstairs, I moved to the couch. I sat in the dark living room, trying to process everything I knew. I loved my son. I loved Jasper. I liked what I'd seen of Bella: her fierce protectiveness of my boys. Esme accepted this whole-heartedly. The real clincher was that these three planned a future that might involve children. My grandchildren. Whether by blood relation through Edward or chosen family relation through Jasper, any children they had would be _my_ grandchildren. I reacted earlier with shock. I hoped that any future conversations I had with them would go differently. Mostly, I wanted them to be as happy as I've been with Esme all these years. You can't predict the things that life will throw at you, all you can do is accept them as they come. Maybe tomorrow I could work more on that acceptance.

Sitting in the dark, I was so lost in thought that I failed to hear Jasper return after walking Bella upstairs. Perhaps I thought they would rub my face in their relationship and all sleep together. I was no longer sure what was going through my mind. I only knew that Jasper returned to the living room, and when my presence startled him, his immediate reaction was to call me "Dad."

I sincerely hoped that I still was.

**A/N2: Did you love it as much as I did? I don't even care if you leave me a review (okay, that's only half true), but please, go to algie's account and leave her a review thanking her for this fabulous outtake. **


	2. Red Pyramid

**A/N: So, I was brainstorming on Charlie a while back. Those that have been on the Twilighted thread from the start, or who have dared to wade through and read, know that my original plan for Charlie was different from what is in this oneshot, and how the story will ultimately play out. A few readers had posted the idea that Sue might help Charlie with understanding, and possibly bring in some Native American history to help him deal with Bella's unconventional relationship. This idea sat in my head for a few days and I kicked around some potential resolutions with a few friends who read TTH. Then I asked Einfach Mich about it, since she has done extensive research for her oneshot. She planted this idea in my head, so I owe half of the credit for this to her. The other half belongs to the author of this beautiful oneshot – algonquinrt. She has taken this challenge from me and, as with the other outtake she wrote for TTH, done a magical and beautiful job with it. **

**Just when I lose faith in myself, my friends are there to pick me up and dust me off. For that, I cannot ever thank them enough (and I'm not going to call them out by name, they know who they are). For reading this story, unique and different, going against the grain of societal norms, I thank you profusely. I've gotten several very touching reviews lately about changing people's views, and I cannot express how it touches my heart to read that. **

**I've left Algie's A/N at the bottom, since it contains an explanation of the title for this outtake. **

The game was on. His beer was cracked and ready for him to take a sip. Yet he wasn't going to be able to enjoy either, because all his attention was drawn to the kitchen. Cupboard doors were slammed just a little bit too hard. Plates were stacked with a little too much of a clatter. She was thinking in there, and thinking was never good. Thinking meant a talk was forthcoming, and he wasn't sure this was a talk he'd been wanting to have with her. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now. He wanted to sit with his beer and watch the game and not think about that damn picture.

What the hell was that picture?

Until he'd seen that, he'd thought that his relationship with his daughter was a close one, even if much went unspoken. They shared the same quiet nature, not needing to fill silences with meaningless conversation or protestations of familial love. When she'd come to lunch, he'd assume she felt comfortable enough with him to acknowledge her relationship with Jasper without even needing words. The small touches and looks had been enough. Non-verbal confirmation that she'd found someone; that she was happy.

In not asking her to use words to confirm what he thought, had she kept information from him? Had she lied to him using his assumptions? She'd brought along Edward Cullen without so much as batting an eye, and he'd seen what he'd wanted to see: daughter, boyfriend, boyfriend's best friend. Really, thought, Charlie, what relatively new couple hangs out non-stop with the boyfriend's best friend? Furthermore, what best-friend-of-boyfriend-parents have the girlfriend's parents over to dinner? His head was starting to hurt.

He leaned forward in his chair, pressing his forehead into his hands. Baby, what are you doing?

With one more clatter of pots and pans, Sue finished in the kitchen and came out to the living room, striding to the television and snapping it off, facing him with her hands on her hips.

"Charlie Swan, enough with the wallowing already," she barked

He raised his head slowly, meeting her eyes.

"You saw it then?" he asked.

He had no idea what all of her stomping around was for, then. She'd seen it. Why was she pissed at him? It wasn't as if he'd known and kept it from her.

"What upsets you more, Charlie? What it is or that she didn't tell you?"

He pauses for a beat, unsure of his answer.

"She... she... Damnit, Sue, all I want is for her to be happy. How the hell is she going to be happy when she can't get married? Can't have a family? Can't tell anyone what the hell she's doing? Her whole life will be hiding from everyone. Starting, apparently, with me."

She moved toward him, then, touching him gently on the shoulder.

"Do you really think she hasn't told anyone? You saw that picture was in a place of honor, with family pictures. You saw that they treated her like one of their own."

His face contorted, agony etched across it.

"Charlie, it's been 30 years. Can't we?"

"We agreed. We wouldn't talk about it. We aren't going to open that up now. It's all just water under the bridge."

"Then without talking about it, imagine if things were different back then. Imagine that the world was more accepting, like it is now. Don't you think things would have been different?"

"The world isn't more accepting. That's what worries me. Look at all the hate out there."

"Oh, please. That's bullshit and you know it. Sure, the world isn't perfect, but it's so much different now. Just the fact that people are talking about it and discussing it and voting on it is progress. It's not where it needs to be, sure, but it's getting there. Even if it is more slowly than I'd like."

"She'll be hurt."

She ruffled his hair with her fingers in a gesture he was sure was meant to comfort. It didn't feel like enough tonight.

"Honey, what will hurt more? The judgment of strangers or the judgment of her father?"

He exploded. "How can I judge something when I haven't even been told what I'm judging? This is all supposition! Conjecture! I'm in the dark here and she hasn't told me a damn thing. Maybe it is just a picture. Maybe I'm reading too much into this."

She sighed, and cradled his jaw in her hands, turning his face until he met her eyes.

"Charlie, this has been between us for 30 years. I married Harry. You married Renee. Billy..." She trailed off.

"Imagine how things could have been if we'd had the courage to face things. Imagine if any of our parents had been wise enough, or intuitive enough. Stop and think about how much it would have meant to have parents who accepted everything at face value and communicated that they wanted nothing more than their children happy."

He was hurt, and angry. You can't turn back the past, only look to the future.

"And you think Bella has that in the Cullens and not me?"

This went beyond hurt; he was devastated to think Sue was right. His daughter would turn to strangers over him? Were they really that distant? He was already beginning to re-evaluate every facet of his relationship with her daughter when he heard Sue's voice cut through his thoughts.

"What if she's afraid to tell you? Look, we both know you aren't the most upfront about your feelings. What if she has no idea where you stand? If she's thinking that you'll think she'll disappoint you, or that you'll think she has no morals or even worse? What if she's every bit as concerned about your happiness, and is willing to keep up appearances to make sure that you aren't disappointed or disapproving?"

Could Bella really think that something like her choice in relationships could drive a wedge between them? If that really was the case, he'd failed as a father.

"How could she think that? I don't care what she does or who she's with! If she wants to join a lesbian harem I won't care as long as she's happy and no one hurts her!"

She smiled at him, returning her fingers to his hair.

"Maybe then, that's all she needs to hear."

"So what do I do? Call her up and say, 'Hey, Bella, if you have some sort of three-way going with those boys, that's fine by me?' That's crass."

She rolled her eyes in that timeless expression of women that was a universal sigh over the thought processes of men.

"No. I'm merely suggesting that you call her and give her the opportunity to open up to you. Maybe drop a few hints that you are okay with whatever direction her life will take."

He smiled at her, wondering where the hell he'd be without her wisdom, before pulling her into his lap.

"For what it's worth, I wouldn't change a thing. I'd rather you be here now than have had whatever that was back then."

She sighed contentedly, and rested her head against him.

"I feel the same way.

"Now promise me you'll call Bella."

He had no idea what he was going to say to her, but he'd call her. Maybe write things down first. For now, though, the game was on, he had a warm woman on his lap, and his beer wasn't getting any colder sitting there.

She poked him in the ribs.

"I mean it. Call Bella."

He sighed and took a single sip from the can as he reached for the phone, handing it off to Sue. She climbed off his lap and hit the speed dial for Bella's number, handing the phone to him as she walked away.

The panic didn't set in until he heard her voice:

"Hello?"

**A/N: Again, I'm so honored that the lovely MsKathy allowed me to borrow her characters. The title of this outtake popped into my head before I even started to write it... the pyramid: a three-dimensional triangle that needs that fourth side to support it. The Red Pyramid has the second-largest base of the pyramids, but even more notable is that it was the first successful cased pyramid built in Egypt, leading to what's known as the era of the Giza-style pyramids.**

**When MsKathy divulged her idea for Charlie and Sue, it seemed almost mythological; the idea that you could see progress in the acceptance of non-monogamous hetero lifestyles in our society. **


	3. FGB Futuretake

**A/N: Thank you all for reading this outtake. Technically, this is a future-take, or I suppose an outtake from the sequel, if you want to look at it that way.**

**One thing I want to say before you head into reading this: there is graphic discussion of breastfeeding and breast milk. If this bothers you, please simply check out when the sexy times begin. By now, you know I strive for realism in my stories, and well, boobs leak when you feed babies. These boys just happen to take advantage of that fact, and who am I to stop them?**

**This is the outtake/futuretake from the FGB auction for tby789. Thank you, Squalloogal, for generously donating an outtake to the FGB coordinators. Thank you, Christina, for loving this Edward, and for supporting me. Thank you for requesting "Edward's naked chest + a baby" - I hope you enjoy it. I also owe thanks to the ladies who answered detailed, intimate breastfeeding questions.**

**Also -- this will obviously spoil one major plot point of the sequel. If you follow me on Twitter, you already know what it is, but if you don't and you don't want to be spoiled, please don't read!  
**

**Thank you to my beta, TwilightMundi, who tolerates my nonsense and corrects silly late night errors. I less than three you, TM.  
**

~o~

I'd spent part of the day with Alice and Rose, just puttering around and doing a little Christmas shopping. Jasper was at practice with the team and Edward had graciously agreed to stay home with the baby. I couldn't be gone for too long, as I hadn't yet pumped enough milk to leave for more than a few hours, but the time I snuck away with my best girl friends was priceless.

Alice dropped me off at our house when we were finished. Holding my keys in my hand to keep them from jingling, I unlocked the front door. Quietly, I stepped inside, closing and re-locking the door behind me. I laughed to myself at Edward's insistence that we keep the door locked, even though we lived in one of the nicer, gated neighborhoods. Toeing off my shoes, I listened for any telltale sign of where Edward might be.

Music was coming from down the hall, so I walked toward the sound. As I got closer, I could hear Edward's piano and recognized the notes as Esme's song. It wasn't live though, so I figured Edward must've been listening to the playlist he compiled while the baby was still in utero.

Smiling, I turned the corner and paused at the sight before me. Edward was indeed in his office, naked from his scrub bottoms up. Emma was on his chest, pink frilly diaper cover over her cloth-covered bottom. They were blissfully asleep, the small infant's legs curled up underneath her, hands folded beneath her face like an angel as she slept.

Jasper was sitting in a chair kitty-corner from the couch, book in hand, watching as they slept. His smile was wide and loving when he saw me. Inclining his head to the chair next to him, he issued a silent plea for me to sit. As I did so, I extended my hand across the armrests and our fingers laced together as the last notes of the song played.

"Have you been watching them long?" I questioned, whispering.

He squeezed my hand before replying. "Just a few minutes. I got home and took a quick shower before coming in here."

"They've been asleep that long?"

It was kind of adorable how Edward loved to sleep with Emma on his chest. They had each bonded with her in such different ways, just like their personalities. Edward would talk about how important skin-to-skin contact was, and her development and milestones. He would bathe with her when he had the time, and they spent as much time together as they could just curled next to each other. Jasper, on the other hand, loved to read to her and move her body, stimulating her muscles and talking about soccer stats. He loved to snuggle with her, too, and it had been beautiful to watch him blossom as a dad.

I shifted in my chair, watching Jasper nod in response to my question as the strains of Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" began. Tears began to pool in my eyes and I rubbed my thumb along Jasper's palm. A gust of air came from my lungs as I watched Edward and Emma. The site and sounds were overwhelming and I was suddenly having a physical reaction to them other than the tears.

"Shit," I muttered, pulling my hand back to adjust the pads in my bra.

Quietly laughing, Jasper touched my arm. "You okay? Can I get you anything?"

"Yes, an awake baby to help me deal with this," I said, motioning to my overflowing breasts.

Just then, the tears spilled from my eyes as I sat back in the chair and watched my three loves. My eyes moved from Edward and Emma to Jasper, then back, as I listened to the hauntingly beautiful song. Willing my breasts to stop leaking, I set my elbows on my knees and looked down at the ground.

Jasper's hand rubbed slow, gentle, soothing patterns up and down my back. My thoughts shifted to how our family had changed, and how Rose and Alice were dealing with their own changing family.

When Jasper slid his hand under my shirt, I sighed. The contact felt nice and I appreciated it. I'd been cleared to be intimate a few weeks before, but we had so much going on in our lives that we had only been able to sneak little pockets of time with each other. My eyes closed and I began to relax against his touch.

Slouching forward, my body resting on my upper legs, I let my arms dangle from my body. A loud whoosh of air gusted from my lungs and I heard shuffling moments after. Cursing to myself that I'd woken Edward, I lifted my head up to look at him.

"Sorry," I said softly.

"Are you fucking kidding?"

His smile let me know that he was glad to see me, and he briefly glanced at Jasper and me. The sound and vibration from his voice woke Emma and she stretched on his chest, arms going opposite directions as her legs kicked out from beneath her. In that moment, she looked slightly like an alien, limbs akimbo and unbalanced. Edward smiled at me as he placed a hand on her back, ensuring she wouldn't fall. His lips met her forehead and he closed his eyes, inhaling her baby scent, as he always loved to do.

"Freak," I teased. "Stop huffing the baby and give her to me. I've got dinner ready."

Sitting up, I slipped my shirt off. My nursing bra wasn't the sexiest, but I was okay with it. It wasn't the most hideous I'd seen, either, thank God.

"I can see that."

As he spoke, his eyes roamed and he licked his lips. Jasper and I just laughed, but my brain started to work overtime and my heart beat just a little faster in anticipation. We were all home, and I knew that Emma would be awake for a bit after nursing, but then it would be bedtime. My entire body tingled, the hormones kicking into overdrive.

Shelving my dirty thoughts for later, I reached out for the baby. Edward sat up and brought her to me, his fingertips teasing my breasts as he placed her in my arms. I mock scowled at him as he sat back on the couch, and then shifted to coo and love my little one.

"Mommy missed you today," I whispered, kissing each of her pink cheeks.

My hand that wasn't holding her body securely to mine unlatched my bra cup and I positioned her to nurse, talking and touching her the whole time. As soon as she latched on, I tilted and positioned our bodies together, leaning back in the chair. One of my hands rubbed her sparse hair while the other held her tight.

"She has my hair," Jasper said. Laughing a little, he played with a grouping of curls on her head.

"She has my nose," countered Edward.

They both half-nodded, as if it were possible she was simply part of both of them, then shrugged. I giggled at the irony of the situation.

Watching Emma nurse was pure joy for me, once I'd gotten the hang of things. Her little nose would bob close to my breast, tongue and lips working together to provide the nourishment she needed. As she ate, we'd look at each other in wonder and amazement, usually with one of the boys around to help and keep us company.

"Do you need some water?" Jasper asked quietly, his hand coming up over mine on top of Emma's head. Sometimes they had to touch me to get my attention and it always made me laugh; Em and I would just get lost in our own world of each other, requiring contact to break my brain free.

"That would be great, thanks babe. Lots of ice, please."

Standing to get my drink, Jasper gave me one last broad smile and left the room. Edward quickly stole his spot, curling as close to me as he could get from the next chair over.

"I missed you today," he said. His lips found my neck and he nuzzled close to me.

"I can tell."

I couldn't help the small laugh and I turned my face to meet his. He peppered soft kisses all around my face, his nose and mouth marking every available surface with affection. Once he reached my lips, it was a slow, sweet kiss that he graced me with; nothing too dramatic due to our circumstances just then.

Emma's little fingers found my large digit and curled around it, and I shifted my gaze back down to her. Jasper brought my water in, glass full of ice as I had asked, and sat on the arm of the chair.

"My goodness, you are one lucky baby to have these daddies who love you so much," I cooed. "I'd be a little jealous right now if I didn't know just how much they loved me, too."

And I truly did feel loved in that moment, flanked by Edward and Jasper, our new baby curled in my arms.

After swapping sides and making sure Emma was good and fed, I handed her to Jasper to burp. Watching him nuzzle and snuggle with her was just as amazing as watching her with Edward. Where some husbands checked out during this time in a newborn's life, I was so glad that both of them felt so clearly connected to her, especially given our unique circumstances.

Jasper carried the baby into the kitchen, then set her in the swing. The three of us made dinner and interacted with her periodically, each of us taking on certain tasks. We talked about our day as we ate together, small, gentle touches between the three of us.

We made our way to the living room after Jasper changed the baby's diaper. Em and Edward played on the floor while Jasper and I watched from the couch and cuddled. Very subtly, his touches were shifting from the tender caresses of the last few weeks into something more. The reverence was still there, but there was need and passion behind it, too.

I felt the same way, the same need and pull, but I was a bit confused and a little scared, if I was being honest. I wasn't sure what postpartum sex would be like, and I was nervous. What if things had changed so drastically that sex wasn't pleasurable anymore, for any of us? The thought made my stomach churn. Logically, I knew I'd need to face my fears at some point, and that time seemed imminent, between the boys' eagerness and my own.

After I gave my little love a quick bath, I changed her into warm footie pajamas and we sat in the glider in her bedroom. We talked, sang, and absorbed ourselves in each other again as she nursed once more before her bedtime.

"Good night, sweetness," I whispered.

Placing one last kiss on her little nose, I laid her in her crib. Double-checking her monitor was on, I tiptoed out of the dimly-lit room. Edward had insisted on a fancy monitor with a camera and I laughed as I walked downstairs to them, remembering her first few nights in her own room. The three of us were huddled around the display, watching it like a reality TV show in our own house.

The boys weren't in the living room, so I wandered to the bedroom, the next likely place for them to be. Sure enough, they were huddled in bed, lying on top of the comforter, watching a movie. They made room for me and I curled up with them, sort of half laying on each of them.

Edward's fingers were running through my hair and Jasper was rubbing my calves, which ached from the earlier shopping. My eyes closed and again, the touches slowly drifted from care taking to sensual. From easing the tension to ramping it up. Relaxing my entire body, I sighed a happy sigh and lost myself in the sensations.

Our bodies shifted and I felt my clothes being removed, heard the rustling of the linens beneath me, the movement of other articles of clothing. Still, each moment, there were hands, mouths, and tongues on my body somewhere. Each time I felt the desire course through, however, the anxiety was right behind it.

Before I had time to get too lost in my worries, someone's lips were at mine. The kiss began soft and slow, but quickly multiplied in intensity. Another set of lips joined us, and I felt whole. Complete. _Right_.

Allowing my hands to roam freely, I touched and loved them. Hoping in the back of my mind to ease my own fears just a bit with these non-verbal reassurances, I leaned into the kiss. Tilting my head, I licked Jasper's lips, my eyes fluttering open. He was smiling at me, and I could see Edward's hands on both of our bodies, stroking and touching us.

Jasper's mouth left mine and I felt him moving lower, the rough surface of his tongue leaving a tingling path on my skin. My hips arched, clearly having a mind of their own, and I fought to repress a moan as his hands reached the apex of my thighs.

Exploring, his fingers touched and teased me as Edward's mouth met mine, a hand on my breast. I was nervous about that, too; how would they react if I suddenly began to leak? It wasn't like they hadn't seen it happen a hundred times, but this was new territory. What if they thought, in this context, this situation, it was gross? I couldn't exactly turn the milk production off....

"Stop, sweetheart," Edward whispered. "I can see your wheels turning. Let go. Let us love you."

His mouth was moving, teasing the rest of my body as he spoke. Each wet kiss he placed heightened my senses even more.

"God, you are so gorgeous. I don't think we tell you that enough ever, but especially lately," he said, lips wrapped carefully around the swell of my breast. "It's not just your body, either. You fucking glow, your happiness radiates through you and illuminates all of us."

Edward's tongue swirled lazily around my erect nipple. My body tensed as he slowly surrounded the flesh with his lips and teeth, then tugged gently. I could feel the reaction happening before I could stop him, and his words soothed me again; I needed to trust them. They were smart men – you turn the tap on, the faucet's going to leak.

Relaxing back into the mattress, I felt Edward's mouth vibrate against my skin, in pleasure or approval, I wasn't sure. His teeth released the pebbled nipple and he placed a soft kiss at the wet peak.

Jasper's hands were still teasing me, exploring the new body I owned. He ghosted them over my legs, my thighs, my stomach, up to where Edward was on my breasts, everywhere. Everything was more: my body, their touches, the sensations from being with them.

Taking a deep breath, I let out a whimper on the exhale. As nervous and scared as I was, the need for them was beginning to outweigh my worries.

"Poor baby. Are we teasing you too much?"

Jasper's cheeky voice taunted me, his hot breath swirling between my legs, exactly where he knew I wanted him. His fingers ghosted over my flesh again, then his mouth reached my center, tongue flicking out to slip between my lips. My hand, which had been running casually through Edward's silky hair, tensed and tightened around his locks. My body tensed, pushing up into Jasper. A laugh came from him then, directly against my clit, and I moaned.

My hand left Edward's hair and moved lower on his body; if they were teasing me, the least I could do was return the favor. It was all so much, _too much,_ maybe. I wanted to find some way out of my body, the over-sensitized and unfamiliar shell of skin that was causing me to panic and fly at the same time.

"Oh God," I breathed.

It must've sounded pained. It was pained, the strain of their slow, lingering tease winding my body tighter and tighter. Not just that night, but the tease they'd built over the last few days. My palm pressed against Edward's erection before my fingers wrapped around him. They weren't firmly gripping, just skimming the smooth surface of his hardness.

Edward's hips pressed forward and pulled back, pushing him into my hand, each of us finding a rhythm, as Jasper slipped a finger, two fingers, who knew, inside of me. Again, I was disoriented with the intensity of it. How could it feel so new when it was something we'd done countless times before?

My head twisted side-to-side as I lost myself in the pleasure. I let go of Edward and fisted the pillow above my head with both hands. Bending my knees, I drew them up closer to my body, rocking my hips against Jasper's face. Edward was kissing me slowly, a broad smile on his face as he touched my whole body. When I dared to look down, my gaze sweeping over the no longer mostly taut skin of my stomach, I could see one of his hands in Jasper's hair, and I groaned. Watching them show affection for each other was like my Kryptonite, never failing to make me weak in the knees.

Jasper used his tongue, mouth, and fingers to expertly coax an intense orgasm from my body. Only once I began to come down did it even occur to me that I'd been rather loud, and might've woken Emma. The lack of having to watch my words and volume in the past crept up on me, and I cursed. Sitting up, I realized that my breasts had begun to leak. Great, just great.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, noticing my annoyance.

"Well, I just screamed so loud I'm sure I woke Em. Now my tits are leaking like I'm a milk factory. Seriously?"

I sighed, frustrated. I couldn't believe we were going to end our night already, either from baby interruption or body.

Abruptly, I was lying back on the bed, confused. My body was being attacked, in the best possible way.

"Em isn't even close to waking up, Bella. And fuck me, this is hot."

Jasper's words reassured me, but I wondered if he was just trying to appease me. Then I felt and saw the fervor with which he attacked me and I knew there was no faking that sort of reaction. His tongue lapped at my nipple, Edward's on the opposite side. As they quickly dealt with the small amount of milk that had leaked, I found myself lost again. The sensation of their mouths around the sensitive areola, licking, sucking, and biting as their hands roamed, was too much again.

Having no idea what the plan was going forward, I simply let myself touch them again. I had one of them in each of my hands, stroking them slowly and in sync. I needed more, so much more from them. My eyes connected with Edward, and his expression softened, as if he could see all of the need bursting out of me.

As Jasper moved up to hold me, Edward shifted his body to cover mine. He was kissing my neck sweetly, softly, and then interspersing gentle bites. Jasper moved so that I was lying on top of him, his knees raised on either side of my body, my back against his chest.

My body was responding to Edward's fingers and hands, exploring and exciting me again. Finally, I felt him rub the tip of his erection up and down once between my lower lips before he pushed slowly into me. Our bodies were aligned so that Jasper was touching my breasts, mouth kissing and nipping at my skin, as Edward slowly made love to me.

Edward's body lowered, pressing the three of us closer together, and I wanted more from Jasper. Lifting my upper body, I whispered into Edward's ear, my fingers touching his hair.

"I'm going to roll over, okay?"

He was still inside me, still stroking in and out of me, carefully driving me insane.

"Are you sure? This night is about you. Jasper knows that, too," he whispered back quickly.

I hummed in agreement, then added, "I'm sure."

With those words, I bit down on the side of his neck a little harder than he might have expected, I guessed from the yelp he let out. I laughed, and it was nice. They were both being respectful and worshipful, which was wonderful considering my energy level wasn't exactly where it had been before, but that didn't mean they couldn't both have fun, too. I needed, in every sense of the word, each part of both of them. I needed to reconnect, to remember our relationship, and to remind all of us of what we were to each other in our private sanctuary.

Edward moved back slightly, withdrawing from me so that I could turn as I'd requested. Moving Jasper's hands from my body, I turned and faced him. He looked confused, but went with the change in plans, his expression turning to a wide grin. Edward's hands slowly burned a path over my hips, my lower back, my ass. He swore, his hands touching more insistently, and I was glad I'd changed things up. I knew they'd both been intimate while I couldn't be with them, hell, I'd watched them more than once, but this was the three of us coming together again.

Licking my lips, I winked at Jasper. The more we pressed forward that night, the more saucy and sexy I felt. Beneath my hands and mouth, I felt Jasper's body relax, the tension and stress escaping with each breath. As my tongue reached out to wrap around his beautiful cock, he watched me carefully. It was one of the hottest moments in my recent memory. As I took him between my lips as far as I could, our eyes locked. He broke first, closing his eyes as his head tilted back, and I wasn't far behind.

Edward had teased me for a moment, then pressed forward again with his leisurely pace. One of his hands came around to touch and tease my clit, and I moaned loudly around Jasper. It was a chain of effect, Edward touching or teasing, me reacting, and in turn stimulating Jasper... sometimes it would flow the other way, Jasper's hand reaching out to touch or stroke me, causing my body to clench around Edward, which made him falter, or speed his movement.

Resting primarily on my elbows, I was able to move my hands to touch Jasper's thighs. Edward was thrusting into me harder, pressing me into Jasper, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer. Looking up at Jasper, I did my best to convey that I was close to the edge. Feeling the beginning of my orgasm, I sucked harder, my hand coming to the base of Jasper to help stroke and bring him to orgasm.

As I came, one long, low moan vibrated out against his skin, and I felt him tense beneath me. I barely had time to take a breath from my own orgasm as he began to climax. He was beautiful beneath me, body lean and tight, legs trembling to fight against the urge to pull me onto him.

I felt powerful and insatiable; the more they gave, the more I needed and wanted.

Pulling Jasper from my mouth, I swallowed quickly and carefully. My head fell and my eyes closed as I could feel my body succumbing again.

"Harder," I whispered. "Please, Edward, fuck me harder."

Jasper moved his body beneath mine, one of his hands traveling lower to meet Edward's, the other on my breast. As Edward picked up the speed, depth, and intensity of his thrusts, Jasper's mouth laved my nipple. I could feel the skin pebble and react to his touch, both of their fingers working a fast pace lower. Whimpering from the need overtaking me, I tried to contain my noises but just couldn't. My breath was coming out in ragged pants as they worked together to pleasure me.

The rush as I came that time, both of them so intimately attending to my body, as well as reeling through their own pleasure, was amazing. Edward cried out as he thrust into me hard one last time, and it took only seconds more for my body to explode.

"Fuck!" I shouted, my entire body going weak with my orgasm.

Collapsing onto Jasper as my body tightened around Edward, the shift in weight sent both of us to the bed. Momentary panic hit, until I was sure everyone was okay and no one was injured because of me. Panting, I laid there as the tidal wave of emotion crashed over me. Curling my knees up into my chest, I tilted my head down to meet them, wishing I could collapse my body into itself, bracing for the inevitable tears. My eyes closed, breathing jagged from the tears.

My body was cold, despite the comfortable temperature of the room. Shivering, my skin broke out in goose bumps. The tears escaping my eyes burned their path on my skin, some pooling on the bridge of my nose since I was on my side, and some falling directly onto the comforter beneath me. I realized that part of my body was wet, hence the shivering cold. _More milk, _I sighed.

Warm hands moved me, bringing the blanket over us, and gently pried my arms away from my legs. As I uncurled, eyes still closed, we wrapped around each other. There was no care or concern about the mess we were making in our bed, just the need to be close again. Letting the tears fall without care, I curled up to the body in front of me, taking a deep breath. _Jasper._

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

His lips were right at my ear. Edward's head was just behind mine, nose nuzzling through my hair, lips kissing softly.

"I'm sorry," Edward murmured a few times.

Shaking my head, I opened my eyes to look at Jasper as I spoke. "What are you sorry for, Edward?"

Resting his hands on my hips, he bent forward and kissed the top of my shoulders.

"I was too rough. I'm sorry, baby. So sorry."

"I'm fine, I promise. Better than fine, actually," I said, giggling a little. "I was just overwhelmed. That felt _so good,_ and nothing has felt quite that good in a while. I was so nervous and scared, and then it hit me all at once, and I was leaking and screaming, and..."

Jasper cut me off with his lips against mine. Edward's hand was wrapped around both of us, skin against skin where our bodies were pressed together. When Jasper broke our kiss to speak, he planted kisses around my face first. He was smiling again, that perfectly crooked smile that never failed to make my heart skip a beat.

"I love you," Edward whispered against my neck.

"I love you too, so much. Thank you for that." I laughed and turned to Jasper. "You too – thank you. I love you."

Our touches turned soft and loving. Hands wove into my hair, brushed gently over my breasts, and my own meandered of their own volition on each of their bodies.

"You know, I'm still leaking a little," I said, embarrassed. "Maybe we should change the sheets and take a shower?"

**A/N2: I would love it if you dropped me some review love. If you do, however, please don't ask who the "father" is, how they got pregnant, etc. I intentionally left this entire future piece so that you have no idea how long it's been after the end of TTH, and most of the details of where they are and what they're doing in their lives. **


	4. FGB Outtake

**A/N: Thank you all for reading this smuttake/outtake. This takes place sometime after the ending of TTH. The timing is intentionally vague.  
**

**This is the last TTH smuttake/outtake from the FGB auction, for LolaShoes. Thank you, Squalloogal, for generously donating an outtake to the FGB coordinators. Thank you, Lola, for loving this Jasper. I was nervous, everyone that follows me on Twitter knows that, and I am proud that you're even remotely pleased with this. Thank you for being my friend, and a supporter of me both in public and private.  
**

**Thank you to my beta, TwilightMundi, who tolerates my confusion of lay/lie and corrects my insanity. I less than four you, TM.  
**

~o~

It had been a long few days away.

Losing always sucked, but losing without my family to support and remind me of their love made things exponentially harder. I decided to try and get a flight a day earlier than originally planned. Usually if we were at an away game, I had a few friends on the team I'd grab a beer with or hit the movies, but this trip, I was miserable and lonely. Pretty sure I would be surprising them when I arrived home before the planned date and time, I smirked as I thought about what I might walk in on, if I was able to swing an early exit.

Grateful when our team travel agent confirmed I'd been able to get a seat on an earlier flight, I packed my bags in record time and left the hotel. Thoughts of them invaded my mind the entire time we were flying, and I had a hard time not taking care of myself in the tiny airplane bathroom.

As I made my way to the temporary house we'd rented, I wondered what they would be doing. Would Bella be watching a movie this late? Would Edward even be home from the hospital?

I peeked in the garage and saw both of their cars, so assumed they were around somewhere. I'd come into the house quietly enough so that hopefully no one heard me. Stopping in the kitchen for a quick snack, I listened to try and figure out where they were. Enjoying the last bite of my sandwich, I cleaned up and made my way upstairs, the most likely place for them to be.

Walking into the area of the en suite that allowed me to remain hidden, I listened to their soft voices as they spoke and moved. Hearing what I suspected were the sounds of them kissing, I wondered if I could peek around the corner and remain unseen.

Deciding to take my chances, I shifted just slightly. As I looked at them, my dick grew hard against the fabric of my boxers. They were both nude and exposed, on top of the comforter, in the warmth of the house and each other.

Quietly, they talked as they touched. From the whispers of words I could catch, they were simply talking about their days, and our lives as of late. It was an everyday moment, laced with their love, and it was exactly the kind of intimacy I'd hoped to peer in and observe between them.

A nagging thought haunted me lately, and I wondered what they were like when I wasn't around. They'd both told me in no uncertain terms how much they missed me when I was gone, but I still wondered exactly what went on. I wasn't jealous. On the contrary, for my own peace of mind, I needed to know that they continued to exist without me. For some reason, seeing them so happy together reaffirmed and reassured me about the three of us, I realized.

I had timed my arrival perfectly; any earlier and I'd have perhaps interrupted them in another part of the house, and any later and I'd be missing these moments. Refocusing my gaze, I watched as they kissed softly. My view of them was straight on, looking up the bed from the foot. They took their time, still nuzzled close together. As far as I could tell from my limited view, neither was genuinely coaxing the other's body to orgasm, but they were definitely in the beginning stages of foreplay.

Watching them as their kissing intensified, I saw Edward's hand curve around Bella's breast. As his thumb caressed her nipple, she let out a soft moan, breaking their lips apart. Her hands were in roughly the same spot on his body, fingertips playing in his sparse chest hair. I watched his hand dip to her waist, then over the swell of her hip. The simple motion, knowing where his hand was headed, made me even harder.

As always, Bella's head tilted back when he found her sweet spot, and a soft sigh came from her mouth. I knew just what he was feeling, both physically and emotionally, as his hands ran along her slick flesh, her hot breath coming in heavier pants. Her voice was too low to hear, but it wouldn't matter; at this point, all she was doing was muttering and praising deities in pleasure.

Edward withdrew his hands, trailing them back up her body. His fingers went to his mouth, eyes closed, as he licked them clean. I could see their mouths moving, talking again, but couldn't hear them. Bella began to move down his body, and I watched carefully as she hitched her legs up and lined her body up with his, head-to-toe.

They were side-by-side on the bed, her head closest to me, his up at the pillows. She was teasing him, her fingertips playing against the surface of his skin. I could see her head, her mouth, his legs, his thick cock – everything. One of her hands slipped under his body, the other above, on his hip. Teasing him with her nails, she seemed to be enjoying the prolonging of their time together. I loved watching them together without them knowing, savoring and loving each other as much as I loved both of them. Had they known I was there, I would have thought they were putting on a show for me, but this? This was pure Edward and Bella demonstrating their love.

Unbuttoning the top of my jeans, I kept my eyes fixed on Bella's tongue as it swiped over the head of Edward's cock. I had a reasonable view of what Bella was doing, but could only hear Edward since he was at the head of the bed. Watching them forced me to pay attention to the sounds and sights, my mind filling in the blanks on the sensations they were both feeling. I knew them both intimately enough to know exactly what they were each seeing, feeling, and tasting.

Hearing and watching them with each other was both hot and sweet. It wasn't often that I was around and not a participant in their activities together, so it was nice to see how they were together without me.

They each continued loving each other for a few more minutes, and I continued my own lazy stroking, wanting to last as long as I could. Bella's breathing picked up and I could see the strain written on her face, her own attempts to hold off clear. I smiled as I realized Edward wasn't relenting; he was pushing her harder and harder toward her orgasm, even though it meant she'd stopped paying close attention to his body.

Watching her climax hit, her entire body shaking, noises loud and pleasure-filled as they left her mouth, I gripped myself tighter. As she came down from her high, she looked ethereal. Drugged, even, on her ecstasy. Her hair was a tangled mess, flushed cheek resting on Edward's thigh, fingers playing against his skin.

As she giggled, I heard her thank him and saw her smile. Her eyes were closed and her smile morphed from the blissed out haze into something much more devious and playful.

"I'll be right back," she whispered.

Biting his thigh once before she left, she hopped off the bed and I panicked for a moment, thinking she might be leaving the room. I heaved a sigh of relief, however, when she made her way to the closet on the opposite side of the room. My eyes shifted back to Edward and I laughed quietly as he laid there on his back, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, I imagined at where she'd gone to so quickly. Watching his face, I saw his eyes go wide as she walked back in. He began to laugh.

"What do you think you're going to do with that?" he asked playfully.

"You said you miss Jasper... I'm gonna do exactly what you think this is designed to do. We picked this up the other day at the toy store."

I heard the laughter in her voice as she crossed the room back to the bed. In her hands she held a toy I recognized: a strapless dildo. It was shaped sort of like a v, designed so that one end was bulbous and held into place inside of her by her PC muscles. The other end was meant for penetration.

They both giggled a little at the shiny blue object, but as Bella crawled onto the bed, the playfulness seemed to evaporate.

"It might be wrong how turned on that makes me," Edward said. His voice was low and rougher than usual.

Bella just shook her head and looked straight at him. Her hand began to move over the silicone, slicking lube up and down the shaft, and I saw Edward gulp slightly nervously, even from as far away as I was.

"Come here," he said softly to her, inclining his head toward the headboard.

She approached him and he took the fake cock from her, examining it closely. I heard them talking quietly, but couldn't make out exactly what they were saying, which frustrated me. However, I saw his hands on her body – she had straddled his legs and he was teasing her, preparing her. They were kissing softly when the bright blue bulb appeared between her legs, then disappeared inside her. Bella let out a deep groan, then began to slide down Edward's body, kissing her way south.

Reaching up, she pushed his legs to bend at the knees. He slid down slightly, positioning himself. Bella shook her head.

"No, no. This isn't how I want to do it. Up on all fours, please." As she spoke, she tapped his hip and made a "roll over" motion.

I bit my lip to keep in the laugh at how she could still be so sweet and innocent while asking our husband to get up on his knees so she could fuck him in the ass. It was endearing, and so completely Bella.

Edward complied, and I was grateful; their new position gave me a much better view of what they were doing. I watched carefully as she teased and played with him, her fingers disappearing between his cheeks as he moaned and writhed under her touch. Once he was ready, I saw fear wash over her. We'd talked about how she should prepare, and she seemed to be doing a good job, but I understood her fear. It was the first time she'd really used anything other than fingers on anyone. With the toy, she wouldn't be able to feel the depth or reactions from Edward, like she had before. She needed to trust him completely.

"Edward, are you okay with this?" she asked, running her hand over his lower back.

He hummed in reply and wiggled his hips, inviting her to play. I laughed, reminded again of how much fun it was to watch them together.

The laughing ceased, of course, when I saw her hand move to the silicone and she positioned it. Tentatively, she pressed her hips forward. Her eyes were half-closed and she had one hand on his hip, the other at the small of his back. I couldn't help myself; as she pressed forward, I grabbed myself and slid forward through my fingers as well.

Bella's body shook, from fear or excitement, I wasn't sure. She began slow, short strokes in and out of Edward's body. Poor Edward looked like he was trying to be so patient, but I could see he trembled with need.

Deciding my alone time was up, as my need had multiplied when they came together, and I could see the trepidation still written across Bella's features, I tip toed as quietly as I could behind her. Fully engrossed in what she was trying to do, I wasn't surprised she hadn't heard me sneaking up.

Bella was bent over Edward's body. I saw the bright blue between her legs, and my hand immediately went there. She startled and I whispered quickly in her ear.

"Shh," I quietly begged her silence. "I didn't want to really interrupt, but you looked like you needed some encouragement."

Bending down, I kissed her lips softly. She let out a breath and visibly relaxed beneath my touch and words.

"You're doing great, baby, I promise. Look at how turned on Edward is, just by the idea that you're going to fuck him. He's putty in your hands."

Hopeful that my supportive words had helped, I backed up slightly, only to hear her whimper. We made eye contact and she was giving me a pleading look. I weighed my choices. I could walk away and watch, which held its own appeal, or I could at the very least stay and help her.

Of course, I chose to stay.

My hands went to her hips, helping to guide her movements. I was rock hard, watching her slim, shapely body affect his in such a way. Each forward and back move, the noises Edward made, layered with Bella's, once she let go and began to enjoy the sensations the device brought to her body as well, weren't helping my situation.

"Bella..." I whispered as I nuzzled my nose to her neck, my own silent plea to her.

"Please," she plead back, and I wondered if she really meant it. "Please, Jasper," she repeated.

Her hand left Edward's body to reach for the small bottle of lube, and she handed it back to me. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do, or how – we'd never been in this position together before, but in that moment, I knew we'd find a way to make it work.

"Tell Edward to fold his arms and lean his head down on them," I requested.

Repeating my instructions to him, Bella spoke confidently. I was glad Edward had been so deep in his own pleasure that he hadn't heard me. Feeling their bodies shift together was insanely hot. With Edward's body lower, her small body could move down further, creating the perfect spot for me, behind.

"I think you forgot one of the best features of this toy, B," I said quietly, with a small laugh.

My hands reached between her legs again and, careful not to graze any part of Edward's body, I pressed the small vibrator on. They both began to make noise and I resumed what I'd been doing behind Bella, preparing us both.

"Touch him," I commanded, my voice still a whisper. "I want to see you stroke his dick while you fuck him, and I fuck you."

At the end of my sentence, I bit her shoulder lightly. My teeth scraped off her skin as I pulled back to adjust and align our bodies properly. As I pushed into her gently, having teased her body with my fingers first, I felt her squeeze around me. Christ, I was not going to last long like this, but it would be good; very good.

We began to move together, and I pressed her body harder into Edward's. Knowing that I helped her along this first time was intensely erotic. Placing my palm between her shoulder blades, I tipped her over even slightly more. Watching her hands trace Edward's sides, the toned muscles of his hips, and then sink out of my sight was nearly too much. Her left hand was resting on the mattress, and I knew her right was doing exactly as I'd asked of her.

Thrusting into her slightly faster and deeper, I set a pace based on my own need. I wanted to hear them come beneath me before I had my own orgasm, but that seemed increasingly unlikely. I pushed harder into Bella, hoping to drive Edward to orgasm faster, and then brought my right arm around hers. It was a stretch to reach, but my fingers wrapped with hers and we stroked Edward together.

His head shifted on his arms, probably startled at the second hand on his cock, and our eyes met – his from between his body and the bed, and mine around Bella's silky body. I winked at him and stroked harder, still thrusting from behind Bella. Since I was free to make noise now that my presence had been revealed, I indulged in a few grunts and groans at the sight before me.

Squeezing my fingers harder over Bella's, I felt Edward begin to throb and pulse in my hand. I knew he was coming, and Bella would know as well simply from the sounds he was making, though I was certain she felt his body tensing in other ways.

Bella's muscles clenched around me and I couldn't hold on any longer. My hand left Edward's spent length and both went to her hips. I held her body still as I released into her, praying our bodies wouldn't collapse onto Edward's before I was done.

When my body stopped pulsing and I regained my senses, I brought my hands around to Bella's back again. I practically petted her, rubbing and touching everywhere I could reach.

Then I realized poor Edward was literally squashed at the bottom of our pile o' love, and I laughed. That didn't help of course, but I climbed off carefully, still laughing, and then helped Bella off the bed.

"Is this what you two do while I'm gone, hard at work on the fields?" I teased.

They both collapsed looked exhausted, but helped strip the comforter off the bed. Bella's hands moved between her legs as she removed the toy, and I heard her make a few pleasurable noises at its removal. Once the soiled fabric was on the floor in a ball and the toy was in the bathroom for proper cleaning, they laid together on the bed, then reached out to pull me into their bodies.

"That was a great idea, Jasper," Bella said with a content hum.

"That was your idea?" Edward asked, voice laced with curiosity.

Reaching over Bella's body to touch mine, his warm fingers traced my skin. We each turned to lie on our sides, pressing closer together.

"Did you like that?" I asked her.

"Yeah, couldn't you tell?" she laughed. "We'll have to work on you two going a little longer, I was almost there." As she spoke, her body stretched lazily.

Pressing her shoulders to the bed, I crawled above her and had a view of Edward. My smirk couldn't be contained as plots and plans formed in my head. I raised an eyebrow and gave one long look down Bella's nude body, hoping he'd get the hint.

As usual, he read me perfectly and we began kissing and licking our way down Bella's body together. We weren't in perfect sync, but I didn't want us to be. I wanted her to keep it fresh in her head that she was with both of us, not allow synchronized movements to potentially fool her brain into thinking she was just with one.

By the time we got to her feet, I knew where we were headed. Edward had picked up a discarded t-shirt and cleaned her up a bit, and we made our way back to the juncture between her thighs. Bella was something I loved to indulge in; some guys go down on chicks because they know it will get them what they want (a blow job in return), but for me it was about so much more than that. I could tell Edward felt the same, and we'd talked about it more than once – her body was designed to be savored and delighted in.

Something I had not anticipated, however, was the combined pleasure of going down on Bella with Edward. I wondered to myself why we hadn't managed to do this before, then quickly banished the thought to focus on the task at hand... or mouth.

Kissing Edward at, with, and between Bella's lower lips was interesting. It was as if we were fighting to see who could pleasure her more, but with none of the negative connotations of a competition. We lingered in her scent, her taste, and each other. Feeling her clit slip between each of our lips, together, was strange and wonderful, something I made a mental note to do again.

As I moved lower to lap deeper inside of her, I noticed Edward's fingers had beaten me to the location. Realizing the sounds she made were our cue that she was reaching a peak, Edward's fingers continued stroking slowly in and out of her. Our mouths kissed and licked at top of her center, sharing and playing with her together. The next time my lips met Edward's, I turned our faces together, bringing his lips only to mine, and off Bella's body. My fingers replaced my mouth on Bella's skin, and I began rolling them back and forth over her clit at the same slow pace Edward finger fucked her.

My other hand anchored his mouth to mine. I'd missed them both so much it ached, and I needed a brief moment to reconnect with him. Moments later, we turned our attention back to Bella as she crested her orgasm and exploded beneath our touch. God, watching her was one of the highlights of my days, and I'd never get enough of it, or Edward. There was something magical about the vulnerability of a person in that exact moment of intimacy.

Edward and I slowly brought her down, continuing to love her gently with our mouths and fingers as she recovered. She was still panting and squirming on the bed beneath us as we moved our attention further up her body. Once we laid together again, it was several minutes before any of us spoke, simply lingering in the quiet closeness.

"Ugh, I feel so sticky. All that lube," Bella whined quietly. "Let's take a shower?"

"I'll put the blanket in the wash," offered Edward. "Get a head start; I'll meet you both in there."

We got off the bed, though I could tell that Edward and I were more worn out than Bella. Sometimes I was amazed at how she could outpace us. As we walked to the bathroom, I watched her body move, hips swaying, hair bouncing. She was more alive, free, and happy than I'd seen her in a while.

Trapping her against the bathroom wall, I kissed her hard as we waited for the water to warm up. Edward joined us quickly after, pressing his body up against mine, and I enjoyed both of their attention and affections.

"Shower," Bella whispered a little giggle at the end as she broke our kiss.

Glass block enclosed our shower. It wasn't super fancy, and just barely large enough for the three of us to get any actual showering done, but it was warm and wet, and at the moment, housed the two people I loved the most in the world.

The shower scrubby thing hung from a hook and I took it down. Lathering it up with my favorite soap, I prepared to wash Edward. Taking my time, I cleaned him gently and lovingly. Once I was finished and we'd spent a few minutes enjoying each other, I turned the same attention and affection to Bella. The scrubby was rinsed and re-lathered with her body wash, and then I washed her as reverently as I had Edward. After her hair was washed, my fingers wove through it as I applied the conditioner, and I lost myself in her scent. No matter what had happened in my day, this was my favorite place to be – with them, anywhere.

We squeezed out of the shower and all dried off in the small space. Edward helped Bella into her fluffy robe and we each put on a pair of boxers, then the three of us made our way to the kitchen.

"How was the game?" Edward asked.

"Complete shit. We lost. I've never been so glad to get off the soccer field."

I sighed. It was all true. The whole game felt off for me and I wondered if maybe I was getting sick. I couldn't get into my normal groove. I didn't have off nights often, but before I'd left, we'd been talking about serious topics. My mind was elsewhere, everywhere and nowhere all at once, as I contemplated some of the decisions looming in front of the three of us.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he offered, comforting me. We stood together, his arms resting on my waist. Bella dug around in the fridge, eventually pulling some fruit out. Edward and I helped Bella wash and chop, then added everything to a huge bowl that we stole bites from. I knew which fruits they each preferred, and would grab those, feeding them between bites for myself.

After we were sated, mind, body, and spirit, we crawled into bed and talked about the upcoming week.

Out of the blue, it hit me that I was married to her. And him. Perhaps not in the eyes of the law, but before our families and friends, we had committed our lives, and there was no greater promise to me. I knew firsthand how legal commitments could fail people, but words and promises from those I loved were bonds tighter and more meaningful.

I realized in that moment that I was one of the luckiest bastards ever.

**A/N2: Review, please!**


	5. FFFA AliceEmmettRose

Thank you to manyafandom for allowing me to post this Friday Free-For-All. Thank you to my beta, TwilightMundi, and pre-readers, kimpy0464, katietheteacher, and mahogany720.

This is an outtake/sideshot from The Trip Home, and is pretty much just one big smutfest between Rose, Emmett, and Alice, as many of you have requested. I don't think this will be the only outtake for those three, just the first. I hope you enjoy!

**APOV**

It had been another long day at work. I wasn't sure who sounded more frustrated via text, Rose, Emmett, or me. We agreed to open a bottle of wine and unwind together, and I was looking forward to it.

Rose beat me home and had a few candles lit and dinner started. Nothing fancy, mind you, just exactly what we needed. As I set the last plate on the table, Emmett came through the door and greeted us. Throughout our meal, there were flirty words and glances.

The anticipation built, and while we tried to clean up, Emmett did his best to distract us. As Rose and I took care of things, he would stop us and take a piece of clothing off our bodies, then let us go back to what we'd been doing. By the time we were done, everyone was nude and I knew we'd never make it out of the kitchen.

"Put your leg up on the chair," Emmett said to me.

His hand was on my thigh, opening my body from behind, and Rose was kneeling in front of me. Both of them were touching me, kissing where they could, and I was lost in a sea of pleasure. One of Emmett's hands spread on my lower back as he used the other to tease me with the head of his cock before he pushed all the way inside.

My eyes closed and I could barely hold myself up as he began fucking me hard. Thankfully, his hands wound around my body, one just beneath my breasts, the other across my nipples. As he tweaked and tugged, Rose nipped at my thighs. I felt like jelly in Emmett's arms, our bodies at a slight angle as we continued our motions. When Rose's mouth was finally on my pussy, I couldn't stop my body from shaking.

We were loud – not with our words, but the way our bodies moved together, lips smacking against wet skin, and moans mixed with whimpers of pleasure. I opened my eyes and saw Rose looking up and over my shoulder, at Emmett, and felt connected with them when her eyes moved to meet mine. We weren't three separate people, we were interconnected, all of us loving each other hard in every sense of the word at that moment.

As my head lowered and my eyes closed again, I could feel my orgasm swell inside of me, fast and unexpected. My grip on Emmett tightened, nails digging into his skin. In retribution or thanks, I wasn't sure, his teeth met my neck. My entire body went taut as Rose pressed harder into my clit, her tongue frantically working as I felt every sensation hit me at once. Louder than I meant to, I let out an extended scream that only seemed to get higher as the pleasure extended.

What felt like several minutes later, everyone began to slow and reposition. I snapped out of my blissy haze and pushed Rose onto her back in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett sit in the chair. I turned as I began to lick and kiss Rose's body, and watched as he stroked himself. He moved surprisingly slow, and when he realized we were both watching him, a lazy smile spread across his face. He'd made no bones about it, telling us several times how much he enjoyed watching Rose and me together. Winking at him, I shared his grin, then turned my attention back to the gorgeous woman laid out before me.

I trailed my mouth along the peaks and valleys of her breasts, the curve and sway of her hips, and then the dip of her pelvis, licking, biting, and kissing. Using a finger, I teased up and down between her swollen lips, carefully teasing her opening before spreading them and exposing her to me. As I lowered my mouth to wrap around her clit, I pushed two of my fingers into her. The vibrations from my moan and the actions from my body to hers caused her to squirm against me, pushing her body down into me harder.

Even though I knew she was ready, knew she was eager and anxious and waiting, I took my time. Went agonizingly slow. Indulged my fingers in the feel of her, my mouth in the taste of her, my nose in her unique scent, my ears in the sound of her, and my eyes in the amazingly sexy sight of her beneath me. Because of me. Because of us.

A sexy low grunt from Emmett distracted me, and I realized I'd probably been cruel dragging out her orgasm, keeping her right on the edge when she'd been so kind and giving to me. I'd been known to be deliciously cruel before, though, and the thought made me smirk again before I concentrated my efforts on making her fall apart. Rose lifted her hips off the ground and I moved ever so slightly faster, watching and paying attention to all of the signs as she came.

Her body lowered back to the ground, and she began to laugh lightly as I continued teasing her. Finally, her hands batted at my head, tugging my hair and making me stop. I moved up as her arms wrapped around me, and we laid together for a brief moment, kissing and touching, whispering our thanks and love.

Emmett cleared his throat, and we both turned to look at him, then laughed. He was clearly still waiting for something a little more, his hand slowly stroking his cock.

Standing up, I put my hand out to help Rose, and she then made her way over to his lap. As she straddled him, I stood behind her, helping to steady her. From this position, I could touch them both, look at them, watch them, and participate.

They began to move together and my hands were on each of them. Emmett was so good at adapting his approach to both of us, always knowing, somehow, what we wanted and needed; this time, he moved slowly with Rose. His hands were at her hips helping to adjust and move her, and before long, they'd sped their pace.

Rose tilted her head back and kissed me, tiny noises coming from her each time Emmett thrust up into her. I could see in her eyes just how good it was, and I smiled as our lips played together.

"Wanna come again, baby?" I asked her, my hand slipping down her abdomen.

"Yeah," she breathed.

My fingers wrapped around Emmett as he moved, then moved up to her clit. Emmett was swearing and I could feel his hand on my other arm, grip tightening as I knew he was likely hitting the edge of is own orgasm. If I couldn't participate directly, I figured, I could be a part in this manner.

"Fuck, Alice. Do. Not. Stop," Emmett pleaded.

I had no plans to, but it was nice to know I'd been right that he was on the edge as well. I continued touching Rose, hearing and feeling the tempo of her breath at my ear quicken. I was surprised though when Emmett came first, eyes squeezed shut and face contorted into what we always teased was his sex face. Shortly after, though, I could tell Rose was coming again, her body weight resting fully against me.

She arched her back and I leaned into her, pressing us closer together; I enjoyed the way her body changed and reacted to my presence. When she finally relaxed and smiled up at me, I leveraged my position and pushed her closer to Emmett. The three of us stayed there for a few minutes before moving to the bedroom and cleaning up a bit.

Curled beneath the down comforter, we talked about our stressful days at work and what we had planned for the weekend. There was a movie we all wanted to see, so we'd agreed to spend a relaxing day running errands, then treat ourselves to a rare date night. Rare since usually at least one of us had to work on Saturdays.

When the sun streamed in through the windows the following morning, I was the first one up and awake. I took a quick shower, then made breakfast for everyone. After Rose and Emmett got ready and we'd eaten, we hit the usual spots and got our tasks completed earlier than planned.

After a casual dinner out, we sat in the theater, Emmett between us, holding hands. It was one of the few places we could hold hands freely – thanks to the dark – and just be ourselves. Our hands met in Emmett's lap and I smiled. For this brief moment, 90 blissful minutes, we could be three people in love with no questions, no raised eyebrows, no sidelong glances.

The credits rolled and our hands unlinked. I tried not to, but I let out an audible sigh. Every time we hid a part of ourselves, a part of our love for each other, it hurt. I didn't want it to, and I certainly understood why things had to be the way they were, but it just did. To deny it would be silly. Rose gave me a sympathetic look, and Emmett just put his arm around me, pulling my body into his.

Driving home was quiet. The radio played, but no one seemed to listen, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I'd sat in the backseat so I could sprawl and think. I kept remembering a quote I'd seen: _The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on so long. _Even as I thought about how life would be different without the two of them, I realized it just couldn't be any other configuration than what it was. We're as committed to each other as we can be, and taking these leaps of faith with each other that things would work out was exactly what I need.

Too much time inside my head meant that when we arrived home, all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep. I wanted to forget about the complications, just for the night. I wanted it to be easy. I wanted the impossible.

I was putting on my biggest, least sexy pajama pants and sweatshirt when I heard someone rustling around behind me.

"What's wrong, Ally?" Rose asked.

Her hand on my shoulder and the concern in her voice were like a bulldozer to the paper mache walls around my heart. I can't think of what I want to say, can't think of how to phrase it and not make it sound like I'm a total bitch, and suddenly, my shoulders are shaking with the heaving sobs of emotion pouring from me.

"I just …"

"I know," she said quietly. "Trust me, I really do."

Her body was behind mine, flush against me, and her arms were holding me to her. She knows me so well, understood that I just want to hide and be alone. Knew that the solution was for me to stay and work it out.

"You can't live there, though, Alice. You can't live in that spot in your head where the world is ideal and we get to hold hands all the time," Rose said. "You just can't. It's a dangerous place, because the world isn't ideal, and we're not normal, and the truth is, we can't hold hands whenever we want to. Sometimes, yes. You have to be grateful for those times, baby, not sad for the others."

I know she's right – _I know_. In my head, I know. In my heart, I ache.

I turned in her arms and faced her only to see that she was crying, too. Not as hard as I was, but her emotions were raw and right on the surface as well. We stood there, embracing in the awkward hallway between the bathroom and the closet, and I felt so much better. In her arms, I could feel the truth of her words and the weight of her love.

Rose peppered kisses on my face, and before I even really realized it, I'd moved her lips to mine. My hands were tangled in her hair and I was taking everything I could from her. Though she's bigger and stronger, I walked her back against the closet door and pressed into her. Her body was so soft, so yielding to mine, and I wanted her so badly. I wanted to whisper to her how she holds me together, how she reminds me of myself when I lose my way, and how even her smallest gesture makes me so happy.

Instead, I showed her the only way I knew how.

Her clothes were off before mine, but soon they were all crumpled on the floor, and so were we. Between kisses, I whispered to her, telling her with all the words I can find just how much I love and need her.

Rose's legs opened and I shifted between them, our bodies moving together, suddenly needy and frantic. One of my hands was supporting my body, but the other moved between us, stroking her softly. Her head was back, hair splayed around her, and her eyes were closed. I was fascinated by her again, always, as she moved and whimpered with me, allowing me to give her this gift and to bring her this pleasure.

My fingers moved inside of her, thumb extended to rub against her clit, and my mouth was all over her body. As my teeth teased and my lips closed around her nipple, I could feel her pussy tighten around my fingers. My words morphed from soft, loving phrases to dirty things as I watch her, and how sexy she is as she comes.

I put my head on her shoulder, allowing my weight to rest against her body slightly, then slip to the floor beside her. My whole body curled into her, leg up and over her hip, arm slung across her breast, and I wanted to be as close as I could. While I was catching my breath, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the quiet humming between us.

"Um, ladies?" Emmett said. "Wouldn't it be more comfortable over here?"

We laughed together, Rose and I, and then we got up and moved to the bed. Emmett was naked and had clearly been watching us again, and as we laid on either side of him, his hands were eager and exploring before we'd even settled in.

"I love watching you love her," he whispered in my ear, then shifted to settle on top of me. "And I love watching her love you," he said, looking over at Rose.

The moment he was inside of me, everything in my brain except the two of them faded away. It's just us, just there in that moment, loving each other so intensely.

I tried to keep track of which of them is where, knowing that Emmett's large body was above mine, but it all melted into a blur as they loved me simultaneously. When I came quietly several minutes later, it was a relief. We were all closer physically than we usually were during these times; they've surrounded me, physically and emotionally.

"Come here," I said to Rose.

She climbed on top of me, soft skin against mine, then lifted her lower half. When Emmett withdrew from my body, for a fraction of a second, I felt empty and sad. But she's right there, her weight on mine, and then so is he. They are mine, and I am theirs, and when he began making love with her, it was my lips she was kissing and my body she was touching and grinding against.

I couldn't see or really hear Emmett, so I had no idea he'd even had an orgasm until he moved from his spot and lies next to us again. He watched us interacting with each other, and resumed his touching of both of our bodies. I could hear him saying how lucky he is, and I echoed it in my head. _So lucky. We are so fucking lucky._

Rose and Emmett provoked my orgasm together, literally – both of their hands are at my pussy. I had no idea whose fingers were where, or even how many were inside of me, and it didn't matter. They're both there, both giving to me as I'd given to them, and I was greedy and taking it all. It was so good, so perfect.

A strained noise left my mouth as my body fell into my orgasm, and it was un-fucking-fathomable. I wanted to scream, wanted to praise any deity listening, and my whole body vibrated with the sensation.

Opening my eyes a few minutes later, I could see Rose and Emmett kissing above me. I pulled them down, drawing their lips into my mouth, sucking and biting and merging us together in one more way. Rose moved to the other side of my body, but we slept nestled together. It was hot the whole time, and I was sweating and uncomfortable, but I didn't fucking care. As I fell asleep, all I could think of once again was how lucky I am. How lucky we are to have found each other, and to somehow be making it work.

And that's what it was – work. It took effort to be there, to be part of whatever it is we have going on, but the reward is so worth it. The love, pleasure, and happiness we all share are a magnification of each of our individual contributions.

...

Four weeks later, Rose tells us she needs to talk to us at dinner. Immediately, my mind goes to the worst-case scenario. Never mind that we consider ourselves to be married, I spent the day convinced she'd finally decided it was too much. I was a wreck by the time I got home.

Rose, on the other hand, glowed. She was curled up on the couch, clearly having just taken a nap, and opened her arms for me. We snuggled and kissed, talking quietly about nothing and everything while we waited for Emmett. I couldn't figure out what it was she wanted to talk about – she was so happy, so clearly in love, and so affectionate.

When Emmett came home, he sat on the coffee table next to us. Rose and I sat up, and she reached into the drawer. Pulling out what seemed like 10 pregnancy tests, she set them on the table. I could easily see each one was positive, and my heart skipped a beat.

"You're pregnant?" I whispered.

"_We're_ pregnant," she said. "We."


End file.
